At a Glance {03/01/16}

Today was good for my soul.

I've been having a hard time finding my "place" in this whole ordeal. I have known from the beginning that my job is to stay strong for Easton.  To be there for him.  And to not be angry or hateful or sad or scared - these are things that I never want Easton to see out of me.  It doesn't mean I'm not feeling them, but I know that I don't want any of those negative emotions to affect Easton or our home.

Several days ago, a lady added me to a Facebook page that is for moms of kids with cancer.  This is where the whole thing about having a hard time finding my place comes in.  I know that these women are feeling a lot of the same thing I am.  And I know there is probably a lot of helpful information that is discussed.  But I don't want feel scared.  I don't want to be angry.  I don't want to go around with this hatred in my heart for cancer, because I know that it won't change our situation.  It will just make me angry.  But a lot of those emotions will rub off on you if others are experiencing them.

Well, last night, I was working, and I clicked onto Facebook to schedule a post for work.  But there on my home feed was a post from that cancer group.  A 2 year old boy, diagnosed after Easton with the same kind of leukemia, had passed away earlier that day due to complications from the leukemia.  

I literally gasped.  And then completely lost it.  That night, I probably cried harder than I have through all of this so far.  Maybe it's because I wasn't having to be strong for Easton.  But I think it mostly scared me and pushed me into a reality that I don't dare even consider. I immediately went upstairs to check on Easton.  I couldn't work anymore, but then I just laid in bed and cried.  I couldn't sleep - all I could do was feel this sadness and fear.

So needless to say, I was a bit of a basket case today.  I'm trying to push that fear back out of me - I don't want it.  I don't want to live every day in fear of what this all could bring.  I have faith. I have hope.  I have felt it since that first night when we were all given blessings by the bishopric.  That's what I want to feel.

So gratefully, Easton had a really good day today.  He was sitting up playing x-box most of the day, which is an improvement over him just wanting to lay on the couch and watch cartoons half-heartedly.  And then he asked to go on another walk.  And he played enough at the park that his legs started to give out on him. (The steroids that he was on weakened his legs and hips, so walking is a little bit difficult right now.  I carry him a lot.  I can't wait for his strength to return.)

And he laughed. Oh, how this boy has started laughing again.  SO much more than he has for months.  That is what I want to hold onto.  

I'm going to keep praying for days like today, and I know we'll make it through just fine.

At a Glance {12/11/15}

Pizza date!!

Earlier this week, Max started acting like something was wrong - I was afraid it was his back, and he was scaring me, so I ended up taking him to the vet.  They couldn't find anything, and gave him some medicine that would help if his back was hurting.  A few days later, he was still pretty bad, so I ended up taking him back in for xrays.  They still couldn't find anything definitive, but they had to put him under to do the xrays.  We had planned on going to the lights at temple square, but didn't want to leave Max at home alone after being under, so we decided to wait until next week.  Instead, I took the kids out for pizza.  We tried a new place down the street from us and had a good time!!

At a Glance {12/10/15}

I've said it before, I'll say it again - sometimes I think this dog is more high maintenance than my kids are!

At a Glance {12/09/15}

Camden found Abbi's hat in the car and just *had* to try it on!!

Creche 2015

We decided to head up to Heber/Midway to see the Creche exhibit again this year.  In years past, it was at the Homestead, and there were hundreds of nativities.  They switched it to the community center, and sadly, they said it is 1/5 the amount of exhibits as it was at the Homestead, simply because they don't have the space.

While it was a little disappointing that it was so small, it was still fun to spend the time with my family and to remember what the Christmas season is really about.  

Pizza, Games and Presents

What a busy day!!  After sleeping in a bit and getting breakfast, Josh and I headed back from Park City and got home just before noon.  We picked the kids up from the sitter, and a little after that, headed to Chuck e Cheese's to celebrate Camden's birthday. I had been asking Camden what he wanted to do for his birthday, and he kept just saying he wanted to play.  But then he heard Easton saying he wanted to go to Chuck e Cheese for his birthday, and all of a sudden, that's what he wanted to do, too.

The food was just as bad as I had remembered, but the kids had fun.  They went home with plastic bugs and spiders, bracelets and whistles, and hopes to go back for the next birthday.

That night, nanas and gump gump came over with presents.  Camden scored with a Star Wars plane, new pjs and slippers, and a whole slew of hot wheels cars.  

Needless to say, all the kids fell asleep quickly when bedtime came!

Anniversary Celebrations

We had said that the cruise we took earlier this year would count as our 10 year anniversary celebration, but I knew that we needed to do something - even small - so a few weeks ago, I emailed my contact at Deer Valley to see if it was possible for us to get a room.  Well, just a few days ago, I heard back from her with reservations for tonight.  I was happy/excited, but finding a babysitter was quite the feat! My dad was in town, so I didn't want to bug my mom with it. My oldest neice was going out of town, and there was a school dance that most of the girls were already going to.  Plus it was ward temple night, so to say that babysitters were scarce is an understatement!!  We ended up with a plan that included 4 babysitters in less than 24 hours. :) 

But it all worked out and Josh and I were able to go.  We got stuck in rush hour traffic, but finally made it to the Lodges at Deer Valley, with dinner at the Brass Tag.  The food was amazing, and we totally crashed after dinner.  I think we both needed a good night's rest!!