Tuesday, November 30, 2010


On Thanksgiving, 2 of my mom's employees joined us for lunch.  As the conversation was going at the table, one of them said that he didn't really feel like anywhere is home - not Utah, not where he grew up, not any of the other places he had lived.  He said he was still looking for that place that just felt like home.

That has actually had me thinking quite a bit over the last few days.  Honestly, I do feel like Utah is home to me.  The last time I was in New Mexico, it certainly didn't feel like home, even though I spent the first 18 years of my life there.  But Utah does feel like home.  What doesn't feel like home, though - is my actual house.  I think that is where my problem lies.

When we bought this house, we had envisioned living in it for a few years, fixing it up, and selling it.  We said over and over again - 3 years tops.  Well, come spring, we will have been here for 5 years.  But it's always just felt like a temporary home - somewhere we are living until we move into a house we want to be in for an extended amount of time. 

Now, the plan is to be here for probably another 2 years - until Josh has been at his job long enough that we can qualify for a home loan.  (It  complicates things since he works on commission!)  Then we will find somewhere that we plan on being for awhile.  But in the meantime, I'm tired of feeling like I can't wait to get out of this house.  And I'm ready to do something about it.  There is still a ton of work that we need to do on this house, and most of it, I can't do myself, but there are some things that I can do.  Before I stopped working, I told myself that I'm going to go from room to room and de-clutter and re-design everything.  I want to make this feel like home, even if it is only for a couple more years.  It may take me the full 2 years to make it through the whole house, but I am so determined and motivated right now!!  So stay tuned for home improvement/decorating posts to come!!

(P.S. - today is the last day of November.  I actually made it through the whole month of posting!  Ok, I did cheat once, but still - I'm pretty proud of myself!  I'll still try to be more regular with posting - but I can't guarantee that it's going to be on a daily basis anymore!)


Cassie said...

I feel the exact same way, and I think I wrote this exact same post a while ago. We're planning to be in our place for 5 more years, though. I have committed to decluttering our place, and that has helped quite a bit. But still, I'm waiting for our forever home.

Michelle said...

Oh Deborah Deborah Deborah....whenever you are feeling frustrated....just imagine me with my little family living FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS on the 3rd floor, in a 750 square foot apartment. I'm not saying you don't have the right to feel the way you feel. You totally do, it's hard when we're still in a place that we never thought we'd be living in for so long. I would love to have a yard, a bbq, an actual kitchen (ours is in a hallway to the boys room) seriously. Have fun with the projects! I love projects!